Living Like a Zombie

Joys of parenthood are enormous. I am so much in love with my baby that words can hardly describe... but as we all know it comes with a small price... our sleep!
The First hardest thing you will teach your child is to fall asleep on their own. Well at least it was the first hardest thing for me.

You have to take it for granted that the first few months you will hardly get any sleep. Aadi's feeding cycle since he was born has been that he needs to eat every two hours. (He turned 14 months old today and that is still his schedule).

In the beginning I had lot of help from my sister and mom. I still had to wake up for Aadi but I had company and that helped. But why do they always have to wake up crying so loud as if the world is coming to an end. You feel like you really have to rush to get them quite again. You wake up, feed them and they go back to sleep, but you still have to clean up after that. And then when you are finally ready to go back to bed, you are still counting time... how much longer till the next feed? Its hard for me to put myself back to sleep when I know in an hour I will have to wake up again.

By the time Aadi was four months old, he was able to sleep at least 8 hours at a stretch at night. But that did not really help me much. Its not like I can go to bed as soon as he goes off to sleep. I still have things to wrap up in the house. On top of that he slept with us in our room. Not in the same bed though. I am glad that from beginning Arpit and I decided he will not sleep with us. First he had his cocoon(ghodiyu) and then his crib. But he used to snore a lot at night and also make all kind of noises. So I hardly got any sleep. He used to wake me up all the time. And our movement and noises in the room used to wake him up as well. And once he wakes up he has to have milk. However sleepy he might have been once he has milk... he thinks its time to play! Its very hard to get him back to sleep. I am glad I had a lot of help. Once he started sleeping through the night I let him sleep with my in-laws and some weekends Sharvi used to come over to sleep at night. That way I got break from having to wake up at 4am all the days of the week. Occasionally I also get Arpit to wake up, but that's a job in itself. But I must be fair.. he did wake up quite a few weekends.

Talking about getting Aadi to sleep... that's a major task. He is such an active baby and having people around makes him happy. As long as he has someone to play with him... he does not want to go to bed. He would be rubbing his eyes, drop his head on our shoulders and give us the sweetest smile. When he is doing that... even I do not want to put him to bed...because he is so adorable. But I know its time and I have to put him to bed. If I just put him in his crib.. hoping he will go to sleep on his own...I have a huge tantrum coming. There is a reason why no one should hear me sing ... no one can take it except for Aadi and that is because he does not know any better. I have to hold him and swing him in my arms and sing chandaa maama door ke... I have to do that for at least 15-20 minutes and it is still not guaranteed that it would get him in the mood to go to sleep. It was all right in the beginning but as he started to grow heavier my back was seriously starting to hurt and my throat was starting to hurt from all the bad singing.

I do not remember for sure.. but I think it was when Aadi was around 5 months old that the doctor told us that Aadi should be sleeping at least 12 hours at night and take at least 2 hour nap in the day time. And that it would be better if he sleeps in his own room. He needed to learn to sleep on his own for his own good and also for my health. Also its never a good idea to let baby sleep real late at night because an overtired baby actually wakes up more often at night. Doctor said that it was okay to let him cry at night. That made me nervous. I could not just let him cry every night to sleep. I was not so sure about the idea and I decided to do some research online. But that confused me further as there were different views about it. But one thing everyone said was crying at night did not leave any bad effects on the baby.


Putting Aadi in his own room and letting him cry at night was unthinkable as long as my in-laws were living with us. Neither did we have a spare room nor would they allow us to do that. Once they left... we started considering moving Aadi in his room. But I did not really want to do that. What if he stops breathing at night or something happens to him in his sleep.. how would we know? All kind of nervous thoughts would come in my mind. But its also a fact thousands of parents have done that with no issues. Finally one month after our in-laws had left we moved Aadi to his room. But I was still putting him to bed. Singing songs to him and holding him for long. But the minute I put him in his crib he would cry like hell's broken lose. It made me wonder if sleeping on his own is scaring him. So I had to made sure he was fast asleep and his snoring had started before I put him in his crib.
Now you would think... that at least after he has gone to sleep in his own room I must have been able to sleep well. But it was not easy for the first month. I would be sleeping.. but my ears were awake. I used to hear him crying even when he was not. I woke up several times at night.. just because I was not sure how he was doing. I was even afraid to go check on him at night as I could wake him up. And he did wake up often at night and I used to go every time and repeat the same routine of singing him back to sleep.

Sleepless nights made me cranky and angry. It also affected me at work. So Arpit and I decided we will try to let him cry through the night and next time he wakes up in the middle of the night we will not go in his room to get him to bed again. The first night we tried that Aadi cried for one hour straight. It was killing me to hear him cry. I am sure it was tough for Arpit too... but he did not express it and it made me angry at him too! I decided I am never trying that again and doctor who suggested it was crazy and has never had to hear his babies cry for that long. So I continued again with my same routine and living like a zombie.

Then one day I saw this DVD on Netflix "The Sleepeasy Solution". I thought I will watch it. It was kind of similar to what my doctor had said and I was not eager to try their method. But with Arpit's encouragement we decided to try it out. I started following a standard routine every evening. After bringing him back from his Nanny's place I gave him a bath and then we both sat in his room in dim lights and read his story books. I used to give him milk and sing my usual songs. And then put him to bed. He did start crying once I put him in his crib. But I let him cry. It was very hard.. but I had decided to stick to it this time. I used to try to get busy in either cooking or taking a shower. I would check on him every 15 minutes to let him know he is not alone. Eventually an hour of crying reduced to half and then 15 minutes and then just 5 minutes. It took about one week for him to learn that once mummy puts me in crib she is not going to take me out and I have to go to sleep. The whole bed time routine still takes me 45 minutes starting from his bath time. But its lot better because when he goes to bed knowing that he went to bed alone... he does not wake up scared at night looking for him mommy. At least not that often :).

He had learned how to go to bed without crying at all and then we went to India. He got to sleep between mommy and masi. And sometimes with Nani and Nana. He could wake up as many times as he wanted at night and have milk and go back to bed again. His whole schedule was completely changed in India. He got to do anything he wanted there. After 5 weeks of that I had to start the whole routine again... had to again hear him cry at night. But again after a week of that he is back to sleeping through the night. Touch wood!

I still have to hear from everyone in India as to how I can let a small baby like him sleep alone at night. Its not right. A baby needs to feel secure and be with his parents. And letting a baby cry for so long... I have to be the most insensitive mother of all! I am not sure who's right. But doing what I did was right for me and Aadi. He gets to sleep 11-12 hours straight through the night. His nanny still has trouble getting him to take nap.. but he does take at least an hour long nap and sometimes longer. Not only the baby but the parents also need their sleep to function properly and stay healthy. And when the baby is loved by so many throughout the day I do not think a few hours for crying for the first few days is going to emotionally hurt the baby. When Aadi cried nonstop for an hour the first time.. it was me who was more emotionally disturbed than Aadi. He woke up next morning happy and smiling and well slept.

Before Aadi I never had to worry about sleep as I do not need a lot of sleep anyways. I used to like to wake up early everyday and sleep late at night. But all that has changed now. But you can tell from whom Aadi has inherited his sleep patterns :)

Sleep well All!

Nanny Dilema!

All parents want to provide the best care for their child. A lot of mothers decide to stay at home, because nobody can take her place, no matter how good a caregiver they might be. Some of us are lucky enough to have grandparents come and take care of their grand kids. It is great since this gives them a chance to bond as well. But for most of us, it comes down to choosing what would be best help they can hire?

There are benefits, disadvantages to all types of care. I thought Daycare would be best for my son. He will learn to socialize, play with other kids and learn to wait his turn and not be spoiled. Now! I wish I had stopped bothering about my son being spoiled. That just does not happen!

Research for daycare was extensive. I asked friends, co-workers their opinion and also researched on line. Went to looks at day cares close by and finally decided on a Church based Daycare that I thought was the best we could find near our home and workplace. It was expensive as well. More than our mortgage! We had booked the day care three months before Aadi was even born, since waiting list is long. But we did get an opening before our parents left.

The Day Care seemed great and caregivers were nice too! Aadi seemed to like it too! He did not cry when we would drop him there and he kept on observing everything around him. He has been a little late on everything. He started turning, sitting, and crawling a little bit later than most of his friends because he is more of an observer than a doer. He would watch them cry, but not cry himself. While other babies would start crying when they hear others cry, it amused him to see them cry. One of the moms used to tell me is a little man in a baby's body. He also loved his daily buggy rides and everyone at daycare loved him as he grinned at everyone who would smile back at him.

Although, everything started out great at the Day Care, problems started to appear soon. Aadi started getting ear infections, and he was on antibiotics all the time. He changed three different antibiotics in one month and that was too much for me! Also, taking time off work was not easy for me as I had very little vacation time left. Arpit had to take time off most of the time and his work schedule is already very hectic. Doctor did not seem worried. He told me this was only building his immune and if he is falling sick more right now, he will be falling less sick when he grows older.

But there were other issues as well. He was not sleeping at Day Care at all. He is such a curious baby, he wants to observe everything and play will all the new toys...he just would not fall asleep. That meant that when I picked him up at 6pm from his Day Care, he would be so tired that most of the times he would fall asleep before we got home and I had very little time to spend with his during the week. Also, as Aadi was growing older I needed to increase the times he was eating solids. But with 6 kids to take care of, they could feed him solids only twice a day. Also I was not sure if he was eating everything properly. They used to keep records of his day, but they forgot to update it too often. If they had a temp come in, she would not know what to do. At the end of the day when I went to pick up Aadi and had questions about his day, or schedule, caregiver might not have the answers as she had so many kids to take care of or she might have been on lunch when temp forgot to fill in Aadi's sheet. This was starting to frustrate me.

I am not sure if I was asking too many questions, but i really wanted to know of all major minor milestones of my sons life. What he does all day beyond pooping, eating, sleeping and crying. I was not getting very good answers from the caregivers. Also, sometimes they seemed mad at me. When I asked them how Aadi was doing? Was he trying to crawl? I did not get a good answer. Instead she told me other kids Aadi's age were all crawling, but Aadi was not. All she would tell me is that he was fine today. I understand all teachers have their favorites and I guess Aadi was not hers. I had seen her with mom of other babies and how she volunteered information about their kids to them.

With me she was always in hurry to go home. I guess it might be because I used to usually one of the last parents to come pick their baby. But I always picked up before the close time and I needed to know how Aadi was doing. Often I used to find Aadi left alone to play by himself. She would be cleaning up at the end of the day.. all the toys washed and put away and Aadi sitting by himself on the rug. Or if I was early some days and there were other babies around.. who could crawl or walk... they would come and take the toys Aadi was playing with and she did nothing about it. I understand its all part of the learning process. But I think it was still too early for him to learn that. Or maybe I am just a touchy mom.

Normally the kids who could walk were in a separate class... but near the end of the day, there were only so few kids left that they would combine the class. And I do not have a problem with that because younger babies do learn a lot more from older kids than babies their own age.

They did have 2 teachers in Aadi's class. But one of them left at 4pm and I never really got to talk to her. Maybe she was the one primarily taking care of Aadi and might have given me lot more info about him than the one I used to end up meeting everyday in the evening. But I was tired of her treatment towards me and it made me upset to see Aadi sitting alone every evening I went to pick him up. I knew this cannot continue and I needed to change the Day Care.

Around the same time, our friend’s nanny had an opening and I decided to try her. Oh! Boy what a difference. She is a sweet girl and loves kids. She ran the day care in her home and took care of only two kids at a time. He place seemed decent and clean. She did not have too much furniture in her house and one of her bedrooms was dedicated to kids and toys. She had a son of her own, who is also a very sweet boy and loves playing with Aadi.

From day one, I asked her to keep a schedule of what Aadi does during the day just like how we had at Day Care. But on top of that I also get extra information about his day… like how he tried to crawl and what words he is trying to say. How much he smiles at her neighbors and that he's become a favorite among her friends. She makes sure he finishes all the food I give him and also suggests me if she thinks his schedule needs to be adjusted. She tries really hard to make sure he takes at least 2 naps during the day. Aadi also seems to really love her. When we go to drop him, he gives her a big smile and I can tell how happy he is to see her. He is still happy and smiling when I go to pick him up and that is such a big relief to me. His laughter tell me that I made a right decision by changing him from her day care. And the fact that he is building friendship with our friend’s baby is an added bonus.

I agree there are not as much activities with her as he had at day care and not as many kids to socialize. Also, kids do not learn to sleep and play on their own, as they would have to at day care. They do get lot more attention and love here. So some would say, they get spoiled more. But i feel they need that in earlier years of their life to build their confidence. We also ran into trouble when Nanny's dad passed away and she had to go to India for a month. She was able to find us a new nanny for a month before she left. But if was again a new adjustment for Aadi and us. When she returned from India, Aadi did not recognize her anymore. But it took them only a day to rebuild their friendship. When I came to pick him up on her first day back, he did not want to come home with me.

I cannot say one it better than the other. It all is about what you experience and the person who ends up taking care of your child. If the caregiver at day care had been nice, I would never have changed Aadi's daycare even though he was falling sick. And we really lucked out with Aadi's Nanny. Not all Nannies’ are this nice and caring. I have heard some parent’s horror stories about nannies that beat and are short tempered. Finally you just have to listen to your instinct and your baby’s smile will tell you if you have made the right decision for him.

Beet Root Leaves

Ever bought beet root and hated throwing away all the leaves? I was sure there must be some nutritional value to it. I asked a few friends what they did with it. But most of them either bought them without leaves or threw them away. In India, most of them did not even know you could buy beet root with leaves. So I took the help of good old... Internet to see if those leaves were edible.
They are! and I found a few recipes too. I tried them but did not like it much... so decided to make it Indian way. Its pretty simple and if you like besan (chickpea flour), you will like it too!

This is what you need:

- Beet root leaves chopped from a bunch of 3-4 beets (the soft stem part can be used)
- 5-6 tbsp besan
- Spices : Red Chilly, Dhana Jeeru (Coriander Cumin), Turmeric, Garam Masala, Salt and Sugar.
- 2 tbsp oil
- Cumin Seeds

It is very important to wash the leaves properly. I usually chop it and then soak it for 15-20 minutes in a big vessel. This way all the dirt settles to the bottom. Remove the leaves from the top into a strainer and wash it again.

While the leaves are soaking, you can get besan ready. Take besan in a small bowl and mix all the masala in it. Remember to take into consideration the quantity of beet root leaves as well. For this dish, more masla is good.

In a dikchi, heat some oil and add cumin seeds to it. When the seeds start to turn dark brown, add the chopped leaves to it and saute for 3-4 minutes. The leaves will shrink and quantity will cut to about half the size it seemed before you started. Beet root leaves will also release some water. Gradually add the besan mixture to the leaves, while continuously stirring until the besan is all cooked. When you mix the besan, at first it will get sticky and moist, but eventually it will start to dry out. The besan will change color when cooked (turn darker in color and give out a distinct aroma). Cook as long as it takes for the besan to be completely moisture free, otherwise it might taste uncooked. This could take about 5-6 minutes of continuous stirring. Cover and let cook for another 5 minutes, stirring in between so as to prevent the besan from sticking to the bottom and burning.

You subji is ready.. Enjoy!

If you like besan, you can use many other vegetables instead of beet root leaves and cook it exactly the same way. I have used cucumbers, spinach, capsicum, green beans, methi etc. and I love them all.

Feeding Solids to a 7 month old

Since my baby was three months old, my mom and my m-i-l have been insisting I start solids. It has been a debate that I think most Indian moms go through with the grand parents. Doctors against grand parents. Well I choose to do what Aadi's doc says, my mom had nightmares that Aadi is the weakest of all the kids in his generation since I choose to not feed him when she asked me to :).

But anyways he has been on solids for about 3 months now and its always a challenge for me. It is tiring, boring, slow and messy. But I am suppose to do this and have been doing it as an important duty of a mom :P. And I know its only gonna get tougher and messier as I keep introducing new foods to him.

At first Aadi was good. He loved carrots and sweet potatoes and I was like great! he is gonna be like me and like all his veggies unlike his Dad. But then it was time for green beans. By that time he had learned how to spray his food all over the place. So the minute I put the green beans in his mouth phurrr! all came out. Stuck on his cheek, hair and my table. I tried to make an angry face and tell him, "NO! Do not play your food". He is so amused to see my reaction... this becomes a game for him. So again the minute the food gets into his mouth...phurrrr! followed by lots of giggle. I could not help myself and start smiling too! So basically I just managed to spoil him and encouraged him to play with his food.

Even though I have to follow the same routine every time I feed him and it takes half an hour to finish 2-3 spoonfuls of cereals (mixed with veggies) I have manged to feed him sweet potatoes, carrots, peas, green beans, pear, peach, banana and squash. It feels like an accomplishment. Its a relief I do not have to feed him all the days of the week. So far mostly weekends. Its currently the burden of the teachers at day care to feed him twice a day. They tell me he has not been much trouble to them as he has been with me. He is more bossy with me. But I do find food stuck in his hair when he gets back home from day care. So I guess they are not admitting how difficult he can be.

But I do believe he does throw more tantrums with me than he does with anybody else. He thinks he can behave anyway he like with his mom and get away with that. But then I also am his favorite person :). Sometimes when I am trying to make him eat what he does not like, he goes red with anger, shuts his lips tight and makes grunting noises. At such times I really want to just give up and be one of those parents who's kids eat only potatoes and cauliflower. Its so tough to fight with babies all the time. And you do not want them to go to bed hungry. I know I am thinking too much... Aadi is only 7 months old. But I think I understand those parents who's kids just refuse to eat anything healthy. Its tough!

I would have liked to make most of the food at home for him but only thing I have managed in squash and banana. I tried to make Avocado at home too. But it was unripe and I was not able to feed him that. When selecting an Avocado, you want a dark green color with bumpy texture. The fruit (yes! its a fruit) should be firm yet yielding when gently pushed.

For mom's who want to make their own baby food, but careful about the nitrate levels in your water and veggies. The most likely sources are beets, carrots, green beans, spinach, and squash. Baby food companies test their products for nitrates. Store-bought baby food — including dishes containing beets, carrots, green beans, spinach, or squash — should be free of these chemicals. A good website for baby recipes is http://www.wholesomebabyfood.com/index.htm.

Good Luck!

Kati Roll

I tasted Kati Roll in NY for the first time and really loved it. I had to create that on my own as I did not know where I could find that taste in Atlanta. I could have looked for recipes on-line, but it never occurred to me then. But anyways... all my friends love eating it and I enjoy making it my way ;)

So here it goes

- 4-5 Potatoes (Serves 4)

- Chilly, Ginger & Garlic Paste. (Heavy on Ginger and less garlic)
- 2 onions
- Coriander
- Lemon Juice
- Grated Cheese (I prefer Amul)
- For Masala: Salt, Chat Masala & Amchur
- Chutney : Mint & Coriander Chutney & Tamarind & Date Chutney
- Maida Parathas: I prefer ready made ones (http://www.kawanfood.com/kawan/paratha.html)

Over Boil potatoes and mash them as fine as you can.
Take some oil in a pan and fry some cut onions (only one) until they are crispy and brown. Add the Chilly, Ginger & Garlic Paste to it. Once that is ready, add the mashed potatoes to it and mix well. Add salt, Amchur and Chat Masala to it and cook like you would do any other subji. Add lemon juice once the subji is done. You can also go ahead and mix fresh onion (not fried) and fresh corainder as well.

Now make the Paratha. Apply some green coriander and mint chutney on one side on the roti and also that sweet tamarind chutney... but that is optional.
Put that potato subji you just made in the middle of the paratha and sprinkle the cheese over it.
Wrap the paratha in an aluminum foil... and serve it.

You do not need to eat Kati roll hot. So this can be a great picnic food as well!

Are your Cosmetics safe?

Few weeks ago, I was asked if I wanted to use Sunscreen on my son at Day Care? I was not sure if I wanted to. Of course I had to do my research. I started reading whatever I could find on Sunscreens on line.
Most of the places suggested that I should. But I was not sure if all the ingredients in the sun screen would be safe for my son and one of the mom had posted this link on her blog. I checked this and I found it useful not only for Aadi, but even for me. I checked up the shampoo I use and lip balms I use and so on. My Shampoo is safe, but my lip balm was not.
I also looked at baby products and I was surprised how many ingredients they have that might not be good for the baby.
So please use this website to find the safest cosmetic products not only for your baby, but also for you.
http://www.cosmeticsdatabase.com/index.php
Also check out this article : http://www.safecosmetics.org/article.php?id=221

My Baby's 1st Food

Aadi started eating solids only after he was 4 months old. I wanted to give him a healthy start, but I do not have much time to make much food at home. So I just started with basic cereals. I bought rice cereals for him. But I wanted an organic option, but still did not want him to miss out on important ingredients like DHA. I found a good option in Happy Bellies Rice Cereal. It has everything that a Gerber Rice Cereal has, and this is organic and has DHA and probiotic which helps in digestion. My baby seems to like the taste too! I also use their Oat cereals and he likes that as well.
I introduced vegetables to my son, when he turned 5 months old. I used the same brand baby foods as well. But since they did not have many varieties I have used Gerber baby foods as well. But I like happy bellies since it is frozen and have no preservatives or unnecessary processing.

You can find this brand at Target!